I have come to the conclusion that I am unhappy with where I live. I have come to the conclusion that I am unhappy with mine and my hubby's choice in choosing not to seek new surroundings. I am unhappy that I am stuck in Misery. Misery is a friggin miserable place to live IF you're unhappy. The winter months are closing in and I can feel the dark, overcast days settling in, which only adds to my unhappiness. What to do...
I have had discussion after discussion with my hubby about moving, yet it all comes back to us not willing to put our children's lives through the dangerous uncertainties associated with moving to an unknown place with no friends, employment, a roof over our heads and very precarious finances.
I feel myself sinking into the conclusion that I am forever stuck in this miserable place called Misery and a feeling like there is nothing I can flippin do about it. Whatever deity is up there or around here, lead me in the right direction...depression is settling in... today. Who knows what tomorrow will bring...
Monday, October 17, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
In sickness...
So for the past month, my family and I have been battling what can only be termed as the "resistance of all bugs". It started back in September when my oldest came home complaining of a headache. It was all downhill from there.
So it's now a month later, and WE ARE STILL SICK!!!! Let's see if round two of antibiotics kills "the resistance"....
So it's now a month later, and WE ARE STILL SICK!!!! Let's see if round two of antibiotics kills "the resistance"....
Monday, September 26, 2011
What to do...
So here I am, sitting here thinking, which for the most part, can be a dangerous thing for me as I come up with all sorts of things for me to do to get myself into trouble.... But anyway...off the subject I go... My hubby and I have been talking for a while now about what we want to do to make things better for us, financially. We live in the state of Misery and cannot stand it here, yet have all these morality based things keeping us here, not to mention we're poor. I have begun looking at other more desireable locations in which to reside, work, and have fun in. Our most obvious of locations is to move back to Lost Wages, but the economy sucks there too, as it does everywhere, AND...we really don't want to go back there (shocker!). I have looked at places like upstate New York, the Carolina's, Florida, Texas, Arizona, even...NEW MEXICO. These are all great places to live, I'm sure, but what would be best for us, I wonder??
My kids don't really want to move anywhere, but what do kids know about surviving and doing it well? I want to be able to make a little extra to put away for that rainy day, or even just to blow. We're not doing that here... I admit, it's scary to move to someplace alone, no one to show you where the "in" spots are, no friends, but isn't that part of the excitement too?
So here's the deal...a job opening has come up that has great pay, benefits, and pension (something we now look for as we get older). It would require a move that we may not be ready for financially, but 1/4 of this family is willing to make. Even if this meant that 1/4 of this family had to go ahead of the rest. If we're not making it here financially, what would the big deal be? My schooling can be done anywhere, and is even transferable...imagine that. Do we stay here until my schooling is done and I am ready to enter the workforce, struggling to make it from paycheck to paycheck, or do we make a move now and continue on with schooling, making better money?
My kids don't really want to move anywhere, but what do kids know about surviving and doing it well? I want to be able to make a little extra to put away for that rainy day, or even just to blow. We're not doing that here... I admit, it's scary to move to someplace alone, no one to show you where the "in" spots are, no friends, but isn't that part of the excitement too?
So here's the deal...a job opening has come up that has great pay, benefits, and pension (something we now look for as we get older). It would require a move that we may not be ready for financially, but 1/4 of this family is willing to make. Even if this meant that 1/4 of this family had to go ahead of the rest. If we're not making it here financially, what would the big deal be? My schooling can be done anywhere, and is even transferable...imagine that. Do we stay here until my schooling is done and I am ready to enter the workforce, struggling to make it from paycheck to paycheck, or do we make a move now and continue on with schooling, making better money?
Monday, September 19, 2011
Gotta get back, back, back to school....again!! (Insert song from Greece 2 here)
Last fall I decided to go back to school. After having two children, meaningless job after meaningless job, I decided it was time to follow through on my original plan...nursing school.
Although I was super excited about going back to school, I was so very frightened at the same time. Here I was a thirty something wife and mother of two precious girls... a STUDENT again. Could there be anything more horrifying?? Well as it turns out, there was...I'll explain in uno momento. (By the way...that's spanish...thats one of my courses THIS semester). The first day I walked into Computer "101" and met not one, but two very interesting people. One of which (thank the dear sweet Lord!!) was close to my age!!! Finally I could find someone to relate to, AND she had kids relatively close in age to mine. (If you'll remember from my last blog that the majority of mothers I had previously me were all a decade younger than I.) As it turned out, my first semester back to college after having been absent for about 15 years, was wonderful. I learned so many things, like the fact that the human mind is not fully capable of understanding and comprhending algebraic equations until the late 20's into the late 40's, and met so many interesting people!! I should have sucked it up and gone back to school years ago.
Now... the most horrifying semester occured just this past spring semester when I decided to take... (drum roll please) CHEMISTRY!!! (Insert horror music here). After week 1 passed, I noticed my eye had developed this incessant twitch. The equations and mathetmatics involved in chemistry were stressing to say the least. Twitch, twitch. The labs were actually fun, yet involved the equations...twitch, twitch. The first exam... OMG!!! TWITCH, TWITCH. I made a B. The hubby moved his schedule from graveyard shift, to evening...twitchity, twitch. Exam #2, I made a C. Homework fell out of my bookbag, I dreamed of chemicals and their properties. The periodic table of elements became the playground in my nightmares. My eye TWITCH,TWITCH, TWITCH!!! Every night before bed, I would pray to the chemistry Gods to please make it go away! I formed study groups with other students who were just as nerve wracked as myself... Can you picture it? A group of chemistry students all fall into the library, their brains wracked from chemical names, protons? or neutrons? and is that an electron? Our hair in little puff piles on our heads, the men are balding by now...(those poor 18 year old babies...no hair), all in the name of earning a decent grade! I don't know how I managed to do it, yet I did, eye twitch and all...I earned an A!!! Holy smokes!!
Summer semester was super easy and a very welcome relief to the hardest time in my life. Thanks God I took chemistry when I did, because I don't ever want to approach that hallowed hall again!
This semester it's papers, foreign languages, algebra...and microapplications (where only the dumbest of dumb learn and the students teach the professor!). Wish me luck!!!
Although I was super excited about going back to school, I was so very frightened at the same time. Here I was a thirty something wife and mother of two precious girls... a STUDENT again. Could there be anything more horrifying?? Well as it turns out, there was...I'll explain in uno momento. (By the way...that's spanish...thats one of my courses THIS semester). The first day I walked into Computer "101" and met not one, but two very interesting people. One of which (thank the dear sweet Lord!!) was close to my age!!! Finally I could find someone to relate to, AND she had kids relatively close in age to mine. (If you'll remember from my last blog that the majority of mothers I had previously me were all a decade younger than I.) As it turned out, my first semester back to college after having been absent for about 15 years, was wonderful. I learned so many things, like the fact that the human mind is not fully capable of understanding and comprhending algebraic equations until the late 20's into the late 40's, and met so many interesting people!! I should have sucked it up and gone back to school years ago.
Now... the most horrifying semester occured just this past spring semester when I decided to take... (drum roll please) CHEMISTRY!!! (Insert horror music here). After week 1 passed, I noticed my eye had developed this incessant twitch. The equations and mathetmatics involved in chemistry were stressing to say the least. Twitch, twitch. The labs were actually fun, yet involved the equations...twitch, twitch. The first exam... OMG!!! TWITCH, TWITCH. I made a B. The hubby moved his schedule from graveyard shift, to evening...twitchity, twitch. Exam #2, I made a C. Homework fell out of my bookbag, I dreamed of chemicals and their properties. The periodic table of elements became the playground in my nightmares. My eye TWITCH,TWITCH, TWITCH!!! Every night before bed, I would pray to the chemistry Gods to please make it go away! I formed study groups with other students who were just as nerve wracked as myself... Can you picture it? A group of chemistry students all fall into the library, their brains wracked from chemical names, protons? or neutrons? and is that an electron? Our hair in little puff piles on our heads, the men are balding by now...(those poor 18 year old babies...no hair), all in the name of earning a decent grade! I don't know how I managed to do it, yet I did, eye twitch and all...I earned an A!!! Holy smokes!!
Summer semester was super easy and a very welcome relief to the hardest time in my life. Thanks God I took chemistry when I did, because I don't ever want to approach that hallowed hall again!
This semester it's papers, foreign languages, algebra...and microapplications (where only the dumbest of dumb learn and the students teach the professor!). Wish me luck!!!
The State of Misery...
So the majority of people out there figure that when I say misery I mean the actual feeling of. Nope. I currently live in this state. When we first moved here, and by we I mean my husband, girl-child 1 and myself, it was a new adventure for me. I, having never lived anywhere other than the fantabulous Lost Wages out in the wild, wild West, thought this could be the thing we needed to make it in the cold harsh world. A new place, new people, new environment...all of it so brand new and exciting!! Bite your tongue!! It was probably the worst thing we could have done for ourselves...
Lost Wages was a beautimous place to live. So many lights, so many people, so much desert... I enjoyed the weather, the heat (yes a dry heat) the somewhat cold winters, those that actually got cold, and believe it or not, snow...well on occasion. In misery I experienced a people that were very cold, unless you belonged to their church. I, while having faith was not a church-goer, did not fit in with them. Those that had kids, were almost a decade younger than I! At what age do people have children out here?! So many differences, so many changes. Thus began my adjustment to small town life. The big city was only a memory waiting to be recalled. I struggled...a lot!! I made the adjustment, slowly. And now, thanks to those wonderful people I have met, enjoy the life of a small town. Although I still have a few issues with Misery, I am learning to adapt, and make the best of it.
Lost Wages was a beautimous place to live. So many lights, so many people, so much desert... I enjoyed the weather, the heat (yes a dry heat) the somewhat cold winters, those that actually got cold, and believe it or not, snow...well on occasion. In misery I experienced a people that were very cold, unless you belonged to their church. I, while having faith was not a church-goer, did not fit in with them. Those that had kids, were almost a decade younger than I! At what age do people have children out here?! So many differences, so many changes. Thus began my adjustment to small town life. The big city was only a memory waiting to be recalled. I struggled...a lot!! I made the adjustment, slowly. And now, thanks to those wonderful people I have met, enjoy the life of a small town. Although I still have a few issues with Misery, I am learning to adapt, and make the best of it.
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